Hey, I'm back, did not realise I had not written for two years but there it is and I am back. Today's great revelation is about money and I want to thank my friend Chris for his conversation this afternoon that made me work it all out.
I have been helping out on a farm for more than a year now and loved every minute of it. I did not get "paid" in cash but got plenty of meat and vegetables from the farm shop. The relationship with the farmer was easy going and on the basis of "Baya, you are helping us out, you do what you can and if it does not feel right or its too much for you, then don't do it". It worked very well for a whole year.
But of course, in my head the money matter was growing...people were saying, how are you getting paid, how much doe they pay you...and little by little I became convinced that I had to extract some hard cash from the farmer.
Eventually, he agreed to pay for my petrol. Victory, I thought and felt all valued and declared I now "worked" there.
Only....
Last week, suddenly, I was threatened with "the sack". I did something wrong and was told it was a "sackable offence"...may be they were joking but actually, there was a lot of shouting involved. I could not work it out and was very upset. What had happened to my lovely relationship with the farmer. Why was I told that I could not take this or that vegetable because they were too expensive, why was I expected to work harder, longer. Why did I start feeling anxious about going there to "work".
And then, suddenly, during that conversation with Chris, it became clear...money had entered the arena and changed everything! It did not matter what the amount was, what happened is suddenly they "owned" me. Unconsciously, I became an "employee" thus sackable, thus exploitable, thus expendable. My labour there was based on an exchange of gifts, now its based on cash and everything had changed.
Can I retrieve this situation by saying I don't want money anymore? Will we ever go back to the easy earlier relationship, either that or I shall leave because, guess what. I am getting "paid" but I no longer enjoy myself there. I am under an obligation and the worse of it is that I created it, I wanted cash, to be valued enough to be given crisp pound notes without of course realising that my value diminished as soon as money was involved.
Money is evil, I tell you!
Is money evil or is it those that are handling it who are, or are not great handlers of it? cant money be a blessing, a gift ... in one person's hands...even if not in another's? Money shows up our insecurity and also our generosity. So is it really money that's inherently evil?
ReplyDeleteThanks Baya, I always find our conversations thought provoking too.
ReplyDelete@Sandra I think one of the issues with money is that it distances us from the impact of our decisions and so in that respect I think it is inherently "wrong". I think that gifting is somehow more intimate and can be helpful in building links which I see as a necessity in the light of the oncoming crisis.
In terms if the inequality of "wealth"and debt and poverty I see that as a consequence of money which even in a mutualist system is more likely to be overcome.